It’s Not You, It’s Me

If you have a blog (of any kind) you need to read this.

And I’m really serious about it.

When I say it’s not you, it’s me what I really mean is, it’s not about YOU, it’s about ME (your reader).

There’s a big chance you still don’t understand me so let me elaborate…

Engaging your audience, having repeated visitors, making them stay for longer periods of time on your site, subscribe to your site, etc.

All of these tasks are only achieved when somebody genuinely wants to be on your site.

Not because you are using some shady strategy to make them stay longer.


Now the issue is not actually there, it remains when you start writing with the “me, me, me” attitude.

This is going to sound harsh but hey, if you want to make real progress you need to be able to take it.

You Are Not That Important…

So… are you ready for it?

You’re not THAT important.

There, I said it.

People have very short attention spans, they want to make money NOW, they want results NOW, they want something to happen NOW.

They do NOT care or have time to go Big Brother on your every day life because again, you are not THAT important!

Even my girlfriend can spend literally HOURS watching the Kardashians on TV and if I tell her “Hey, I made $2 dollars on Clickbank!” she would say “yaaaaaaaay… okay what are we going to do today?”

And don’t get me wrong, she fully supports me and loves me but that’s the reality.

I hate this “what’s in it for me” saying but it IS true after all and we should stick to it from time to time.

I’m not saying give away the farm on your blog, I’m just saying, share your story and embed some learning from it that can help your readers solve something.

Storytelling 101

Storytelling 101 baby.

While it IS okay to share your internet marketing journey on your blog, nobody likes to follow a loser.

If you are publishing how you fail all the time, it’s not really going to take me much time to decide to NEVER visit your site again (even if you keep leaving comments here).

So what should you do to keep engaging your readers?

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

Show the good, the bad and the ugly nothing else.

Your little victories, your defeats, your plans, your actions but also keep in mind you are still writing for SOMEONE, it’s not for you.

If you are into Internet Marketing and want to live from it, then you need to understand this very basic premise:

PEOPLE are the ones that are going to pay for that food on your table so write for THEM.

Don’t make it all about you.

A blog shouldn’t be a serious thing nor boring either, don’t make it too corporative, don’t make it too serious either, don’t become a clown (unless you want to!)

Just be yourself, the real niche is YOU, people love to buy but hate to be sold to, share what you are doing, what is going great and what is failing, become as transparent as you can!

People like to follow stories that they can feel related to, be their FRIEND, be REAL, be YOU.

Put Yourself On Video

If you want solid advice on how to engage your audience go make a video.

I don’t care if you can’t speak fluent English, if you’re ugly or if your camera sucks, those are only EXCUSES.

Go make a video and ENGAGE your audience, say something like:

“Hi, my name’s ‘your name here’ and thank you for coming to my site.

I’m thrilled to have you here and I actually created this place to teach you how to do “X” so you can solve “Y” kind of problems.

Take care and I look forward to talking with you again very soon!”

Boom.

That’s it.

Your Task For Today

Experiment: Publish a new article on your site and don’t do any blog hopping at all.

It’s okay to send the update through your autoresponder and share it on any social media platforms you normally share your updates on but do not go on a blog commenting spree.

See how many people come to your site and leave you a comment.

If you get zero comments then you are clearly making it all about yourself and doing it wrong.

Hope this helps, take care and I’ll talk to you again soon, have a great weekend! ;-)

Sergio

41 Responses to It’s Not You, It’s Me

  1. Andrew Stark April 5, 2013 at 12:36 pm #

    Hi Segio,

    Based on what I listened to yesterday I think you’ve just written a brilliant “Money Trigger” blog post, so congratulations on taking action on your own idea.

    I wrote down several ideas from listening to Alex, and I’ve now got the next 10 days off work to look after the kids and try to give my business a real kickstart with the slush fund I have in my paypal account.

    This new design is awesome, what have you done to get the popular / comments / latest displaying in the sidebar?

    Andrew

    • Sergio Félix April 6, 2013 at 10:37 am #

      Hey what’s up Andrew,

      Thank you for approving this article as Money Trigger-ish man and Alex definitely rocks with most of his business principles, I just can’t stop learning from that guy.

      10 days off from work sounds amazing for your online activities, I’m pretty sure you’ll get a LOT done.

      As for the widget I’m using on the sidebar, is called “Tabs” and it’s from WooDojo (a plugin developed by WooThemes).

      As far as I know it’s FREE to download and it’s supposed to work in other themes as well, not just WooThemes.

      Check it out here => WooDojo

      Thanks for stopping by and the great feedback as always man, really appreciate it! ;-)

  2. Mike Robertson April 5, 2013 at 3:00 pm #

    Hi Sergio,

    Thank you for a great post, some very useful tips & information

    • Sergio Félix April 6, 2013 at 10:27 am #

      Hey Mike, this is honestly very poor feedback for a first comment man.

      The next time when you leave something a little more engaging I’ll leave your URL intact.

      Cheers and good luck with your site! ;-)

      • Patrick Griffin April 6, 2013 at 7:08 pm #

        I do the same as you.
        If I know a comment is spam, it gets nuked but if I want to give the commenter the benefit of the doubt I leave the comment but delete the link.

        If a blog post only inspires me to say “Great post, keep up the good work” then I am not going to waste your time or mine in saying only that.

        In such cases I decide not to comment at all and show that I liked it by sharing it on Twitter and or Facebook.

        P.

        • Sergio Félix April 7, 2013 at 7:12 am #

          Couldn’t have said this better myself Patrick.

          Thanks for chiming in and contributing to good blogging practices! ;-)

  3. Matt Morgan April 6, 2013 at 2:04 am #

    Hello Sergio, I hope you are doing well.

    Yes you need to have an edge to stand out from the crowd and make sure that you engage your blog readers so that they come back for more.

    There are many ways people can put some creativity into their blog posts, so that the readers remember you for your style, and build the trust with you.

    It is important to think outside the box and stand out from the other marketers.

    A video is a good way to show your face and voice so that your readers can have a real image of you.

    5 Video creation Tips
    ———————————-
    1) Make the video instructive, using a step by step approach to [do this] video or a how to video on your niche.

    2) Upload your video on youtube, so that you get a wide distribution of it to a range of viewers world wide.

    3) Ask your viewers to link to this video and share it with their email list, blog readers, and social book mark it. This wlil get some viral exposure for it.

    4) Add some humour to your video, so that you make the reader smile or even laugh.

    5) Include some extra tips in your video (as i have done in this post), to get that extra bit of trust.

    Remember a little bit of effort will go long way.

    Good luck in your blogs people, and videos.

    I hope you got many easter eggs Sergio

    Matt Morgan

    • Sergio Félix April 6, 2013 at 10:42 am #

      Hey Matt, long time no see my friend!

      I understand completely when people are terrified of doing videos for the first time (I had the same problem too!) but it’s just something people NEED to do.

      Strictly speaking about marketing and building trust with our sites, I don’t even see it as a choice anymore to make video or not.

      People just HAVE TO DO IT.

      As always, great tips Matt thank you!

      PS. I don’t think I have added much humour in my videos but I do try to engage the viewers as much as I can.

      I need to work on my attention grabbing skills (pattern interruptions) and do a little bit more video editing but I just don’t have enough time for that, hence why my videos are so raw and simple.

  4. Cararta April 6, 2013 at 2:15 am #

    Aren’t you the one!
    You know I have that popular, latest etc on one of my blogs and couldn’t tell you how it got there! But I haven’t beat it with a stick yet to get rid of it!

    Only 3 comments today…you cause I’ve missed you lately (I’ve been Working!) and Adrienne Smith on FB and one other!

    Got to close up shop and work again tlater today 4 a.m. …plus go to Town!
    Out of Dog Food and no frozen McDoubles left.

    Interesting new look again Sergio….That Blog link is nice to display post excerpts and the archives is interesting also…can I do with Profits Theme?

    Using Last Pass and it wants to break my arm cause I won’t let it fill out 4 forms it found on here! Off to bed!

    • Sergio Félix April 6, 2013 at 11:01 am #

      Hey Cararta,

      If it’s on your sidebar, then just look inside your widgets and look for a nameless widget (I checked your site and you didn’t assign a name to that widget).

      It shouldn’t take you more than one minute to find it!

      Really good to hear you are working a lot, Adrienne publishes a LOT of blog content, I can’t keep up with her pace haha

      The Archive page is the regular standard for WooThemes (I’m using Canvas) but I’m pretty sure you could probably do something similar with the Profits Theme.

      1. Create an Archives Page (name it “archives”)
      2. Go to Edit, then Page Attributes (it should be on the sidebar)
      3. Locate the Template drop down menu and search for an Archives Page there
      4. Hit publish and preview the page.

      If it worked, don’t forget to add that new page to your menu, save it and voilá!

      Well you’ll be happy to know I have only three forms now, it’s the Aweber Opt-in, the search form, the actual comment box and I had a subscribe to the RSS feed form (which I just deleted).

      I’m going to fill this place with forms though so get ready for that update! ;-)

      Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend Cararta.

  5. Linda April 6, 2013 at 10:11 pm #

    Hey Sergio!

    I gotta get this book written – I will I PROMISE!!! But you pinpoint some good things here – I have been blog hopping here and there and I get nothing back, but it’s because these people just write – like you said for themselves – that is all I see!!!

    I don’t really give a crap if no one comes back to me – my mark has been left and if they don’t want the return – who cares!

    People just don’t know what they are doing – let them be and who gives a flying F*CK!! My blog is not my main site – I post what I think people want – if they don’t want it – they move on – oh well!

    Hope all is well with you!
    Linda

    • Sergio Félix April 7, 2013 at 7:19 am #

      Hey Linda,

      For the new generation of bloggers, I believe it has to do a lot with “the blind leading the blind” and as far as I know, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped either.

      Remember that the most difficult part of doing something is getting started.

      Get pumped and commit yourself to writing the first paragraph today, then sleep on it (stop thinking about the book) and you can start completely fresh tomorrow (Monday).

      Hope that helps.

      Take care, have a great Sunday and thanks for stopping by Linda, I really appreciate it! ;-)

      • Linda April 7, 2013 at 5:37 pm #

        I wrote more than a paragraph, Sergio. I am just flying through – over 1000 words written so far. I am excited – I need to get this done because it’s been on my mind for quite some time. I thought I started it way back when, but I couldn’t find it, so I guess it got lost somewhere.

        I’ll get it finished here soon – my next challenge will be the cover – just no idea whatsoever..lol.

        I am hoping it will help these newbie or “wanna be” bloggers.

        Hope your Sunday has been a good one!
        Linda

        • Sergio Félix April 7, 2013 at 8:34 pm #

          Well, well, well… just look who came back super pumped?

          HUGE Congratulations Linda, I’m excited for you as well!

          I don’t think the cover is going to represent an issue after checking out your design skills, just take a look at the Amazon marketplace and do something similar.

          There’s no need to reinvent the wheel! ;-)

  6. Linda April 7, 2013 at 9:06 pm #

    Yup, I am excited – just need to add everyone’s info – do a little formatting, add a disclaimer and the cover and it will be done – finally :)

    Thanks for the idea about checking out Amazon – it’s my biggest challenge right now. Doesn’t need to be fancy, but it should be eye catching, right!

    I’ll post on my other blog as soon as it is done :)

    Have a great night, Sergio!
    Linda

    • Sergio Félix April 9, 2013 at 6:27 am #

      That’s awesome Linda, let me know when it’s ready so I can check it out! ;-)

  7. Khaja Moin April 7, 2013 at 11:38 pm #

    I tried this (not commenting on other blogs) before and I saw drop in number of comments obviously but I was happy because I saw few new faces commenting on my blog.

    I agree with you mate that video can increase interaction, like you mentioned my great excuse till now was, my mother tongue of not English, I don`t have good video…

    But now am going to try it seriously, will share it with you.

    Great write up!

    ~@Khajamoin1

    • Sergio Félix April 8, 2013 at 7:11 am #

      Hey Khaja, I’m glad you already went through this and I also love it when I see new faces on the blog.

      But… I love it even more when I see familiar faces coming back because then I know my content is not that bad and I may actually have an audience!

      Want to be empowered by a video? Just watch my first video here

      Thanks for stopping by and hope you take action man! ;-)

      PS. If you do the video you are going to have a GREAT start of week, do you want to know why?

      Just think about it, overcoming a hurdle right on Monday? Pff just GO DO IT man, after the first one then it gets easier, I promise! (remember I’ve been there)

  8. Chetz Togom April 7, 2013 at 10:58 pm #

    Eerrrmmmm I’m doing blog hopping to your blog bro … hehehehe :P

    But I just posted my latest article PLUS video of my own face … so I think I can hop and comment here ya? :)

    You’re right. I think your website need to be mix of stuff. Not just about you or your failed strategies.

    If you always failed. Go to some other blogs who talk about how they’re successful and write about that on your blog …. hehehehehe

    I also believe that we need to inject some personal stories, our daily lives on our blog because people want to know the life of the people they get their info from.

    It’s nice to read about your running journey, your engagement, your drunk moments … LOL!

    When I write something on my blog, I imagine talking to friends or wanting to help a friend.

    Nice post bro!

    Chetz

    • Sergio Félix April 8, 2013 at 7:02 am #

      Hey Chetz, nothing wrong doing some blog hopping to share the new content man.

      I do it all the time!

      What I suggested on this article is just a little test to see if you still have an audience or not, nothing else.

      I tried to be a little bit less personal before and the amazing people who like reading this blog, told me they wanted the personal bit INCLUDED in my articles so I kept it that way.

      So by all means, do share your personal bits but always try to keep a healthy balance between personal stories and actionable content too.

      Focusing on talking to one friend is a great technique to write better engaging articles (the same happens when doing video).

      Great feedback Chetz and I believe you’re doing a great job with your blog lately man, thanks for stopping by and keep going forward! ;-)

      PS. Just a humble suggestion, don’t forget to dedicate one page to your OBI Mega Guide so your visitors can find the content easily and not scattered all over the blog!

      • Chetz Togom April 8, 2013 at 10:49 pm #

        Bro! Thanks so much for that suggestion. I’ll do that! :)

        Chetz

  9. igor Griffiths April 8, 2013 at 3:08 am #

    Well hello Sergio, love the point about the good, the bad and the ugly. I also notice that you do not have categories at the top of your blog, this is something I have just removed from my blog. I found that it was constraining myself and thus not writing about what was really going on with my online madness.

    As for video, that is something I need to get back into, perhaps a monthly update video added into the mix highlighting what I really have done that counts as progress that month!

    As you say, our blogs are our windows into our world and thus we need to write in a style that encourages people to look into our world and take away something they can use in their world.

    igor

    • Sergio Félix April 8, 2013 at 7:20 am #

      Hey Igor, I used to have categories displaying as a widget (on the sidebar) but after tracking how little those links were actually being used, I decided to remove them altogether.

      My advice is to not think on “categories” whenever you are going to start writing a new article (sooner or later it will tangle your free-writing skills).

      The article has to come first and once it’s completed, then you can worry about its category.

      I definitely like the idea of a monthly summary video and I actually think you should do it man.

      Thanks for stopping by Igor and well, now you have some new things to think about for your site (hint: Mondays are GREAT to start up new things!)

  10. David Wildash April 8, 2013 at 12:47 pm #

    Some really good points here Sergio and I like the way you’ve included a couple of challenges. Setting up a YouTube channel has been on my to do list for a while and I’ll try the social media platforms instead of blog hopping after my next post.

    I have been sharing my journey and recently received a blog comment that I could be doing better if I wasn’t spending so much time trying to be the centre of attention. Except they didn’t put it that politely. This lead to some soul searching and was only slightly alleviated when I received another almost identical comment. Perhaps having a go at someone in a blog comment is a new tactic! I suppose you open yourself to such attacks if you put yourself out there.

    David

    • Sergio Félix April 8, 2013 at 1:11 pm #

      Hey David,

      First of all I’m truly sorry that you had to go through something like receiving a harsh comment on your own site but you are right when you say we are open to attacks when we put ourselves out there on the spot.

      Now having said that, it is definitely easier to sit back and point the finger at people than to be actually taking action and not being scared to fail (actually if you fail harder and faster, even BETTER!)

      My advice is the following one, it’s your site, it’s your rules.

      You are going to receive some heated comments from time to time, if it’s constructive criticism (even if it’s a bit hard) just take it and move on.

      BUT if it’s negative and non-constructive, delete the comment, ban his ass from your blog and keep doing your own thing.

      The mere fact that I have an open form to discussion on my site here, doesn’t give the right to ANYONE to have a go at me out of their own frustrations.

      So that’s how you deal with trolls (never forget, if the comment has those two characteristics -negative and non constructive- don’t even bother in trying to reply to it or understand it, just delete it, ban the IP, e-mail and move on)

      Now for the YouTube part, you just need a gmail address and you’re all set (technically speaking) for YouTube.

      Here’s a drill that will result in making your first video TODAY.

      If you’re scared of doing videos, the first thing you should understand is that you’re looking at a plastic, metal thingy (the video camera) it’s not even a person.

      Second thing, if you feel so incredible uncomfortable on camera, use a picture from you and use that as the background, then just record your voice over and done.

      I can tell you though, it’s way more work doing that than just hitting record and introducing yourself!

      And finaly but not least, like I told Khaja above, the first video is the hardest.

      The second video becomes instantly easier, just try it!

      Thanks for stopping by Dave and next time someone tries to have a go at you or your articles or whatever it is, always remember the 3-step rule: delete, ban, move on.

      Cheers man! ;-)

    • Sergio Félix April 8, 2013 at 1:57 pm #

      Hey David, your blog is recognizing my comments as SPAM, it would be great if you can find my comments on the spam box and rescue them? Thanks! ;-)

  11. Theodore Nwangene April 8, 2013 at 3:26 pm #

    Whats up man?
    Its been a little long time, hope you’re doing great. It seems i came a bit late this time, but i think its better to be late than not come at all right?

    Ok

    I sincerely agree with all you said here man, blogs are suppose to be for the readers and not for the owners indeed. That’s one mistake most people make, trying everything possible to impress themselves on their blog instead impressing their readers.

    That’s why majority of bloggers always fail. The best thing is simply to write for your readers and wow them with your writings. That will keep them coming back.

    Thanks for sharing man and have a great week.

    BTW: How is your fiancee? Hope you guys are doing well. Kind regards man.

    • Sergio Félix April 8, 2013 at 4:15 pm #

      Hey Theodore, you got it right there man:

      “…write for your readers and wow them with your writings”.

      I do recommend people to write about them so visitors know who they are talking to, start nurturing a relationship, etc., but don’t go make a full diary out of your life!

      You won’t get any readers with that! (unless you are a celebrity…)

      My fiancee is doing all right man, she just bought a new car so she’s doing way better than me right now lol

      Take care and thanks for stopping by man! ;-)

  12. Jens P. Berget April 8, 2013 at 10:04 pm #

    This is exactly what I’m telling my clients Sergio. They want results right away, and they want to sell via social media right away. I have been explaining to them that it takes time to get the snowball rolling, and the harder we work, the more sales they’ll make, but it takes time and dedication.

    Great stuff, and keep your girlfriend away from that TV-show :)

    • Sergio Félix April 9, 2013 at 6:38 am #

      Hey Jens, I understand you completely man.

      Clients can be tough cookies when it comes to explaining them how things work and making them accept our theories and/or prior experiences.

      I have one client in particular that believes he’s going to get rich from doing Google Ads.

      I already explained that while it IS possible to drive a lot of targeted traffic with PPC, there’s no guarantee that every visitor will convert.

      He was okay with it until I told him that PPC meant you pay per EACH click, he hesitated about it and then I told him that FB Ads could be even more targeted and have proved to be as great (if not much better) than Google itself.

      Again, he was okay with the new idea until I explained that this costs money too without excluding research, split testing, etc.

      He got so overwhelmed (because he wanted to) that he did nothing in the end.

      So… every client is a world in itself.

      Thanks for stopping by Jens and you could probably do better writing some reports on specific aspects of your business like social media, viralization, etc so they already know what your stance about certain topics is.

      PS. I’m already showing my girlfriend that there are other tv channels and programs besides that one LOL

  13. Darlene April 13, 2013 at 6:19 pm #

    LOL.. Sergio, you crack me up!

    I love your “say it like it is” writing style. :)

    I would add that we need to remember your advice when crafting our “About” page too. Our visitors don’t go there so much to find out about us.. but more to see if who we are and what we offer will benefit them..

    ~ darlene :)

    • Sergio Félix April 14, 2013 at 9:38 am #

      Hey Darlene, that’s a really nice addition and actually, thanks for the reminder!

      I have been wanting to update my About Me page forever and for some reason I keep postponing it for later.

      Hope you had a great weekend and thanks for coming by! ;-)

      PS. I love the picture in a bubble on your site and extra points for your family pic on your About Me page as well (you all look fun and beautiful too!)

  14. Carlie Hamilton May 7, 2013 at 4:29 am #

    I don’t believe it! It’s all about ME!!

    Haha, just kidding. Great post, I enjoyed it :)

    • Sergio Félix May 7, 2013 at 8:32 am #

      LOL thank you Carlie and you have an amazing looking website, congrats! ;-)

  15. Stephen Hawkins June 11, 2014 at 2:55 pm #

    Hi, thanks for the post. I am just getting started in the blogging world and have written my first post and made a few revisions since reading this post.

    I have kind of been taught to do the opposite to what you are saying but find your style of writing pretty (how can I put this) To The Point? Something like that.

    I will call back again tomorrow and read a few other posts as I have seen a couple that look interesting and of course I would like to check what other posts are available and of interest.

    I actually thought I was pretty important until reading this post but I know what you mean.

    I am going to work on your advise and make a video with introduction like you suggest. I did upload one after following your advise and added a couple of pictures that I thought would be entertaining but it is really hard to think what other people would want. I guess I am going to have to ask and survey etc.

    Thanks again for the post.

    Stephen Hawkins.

    • Sergio Felix June 11, 2014 at 7:15 pm #

      Hello Stephen,

      Yeah I’m known for writing straight to the point, I believe there are way too many marketers out there who like to keep their audience going through hoops when they could express their main idea in one sentence instead of a 4,000 word blog post or a one hour video lol

      Anyway, I went to your site and read your entire first post, left you a comment too and also connected with you on YouTube and Twitter.

      Your story is pretty magnetic so if you play your cards right, I think you’re definitely going to reach success with Internet Marketing very soon.

      Kudos on investing in yourself (Alex Jeffreys coaching, Optimize Press 2, etc) I’d really love to have you as my student but I don’t want to overwhelm you with information and if you’re already taking someone else’s training, then stick to that and just keep following up until you start seeing results.

      Thanks for stopping by man and all the best!

      PS. You are already a fantastic musician (drummers ARE musicians too!) so that can be another one of your niches but again, I don’t want to overwhelm you with recommendations but it’s important that you know you have this option right here.

  16. Stephen Hawkins June 11, 2014 at 7:46 pm #

    Thanks Sergio, You are my first contact since beginning the Alex Jeffrey’s Coaching Course and It was a complete pleasure. Maybe when I am done with Ales then I will move on to training with you. Lets just wait and see.

    I will hang around and read few more posts and maybe comment on them just so long as you know I am not in any way spamming or anything like that. I like to take part in conversations and if I can say anything that helps others along their path the that’s great too. I must go get some sleep now for another day on the grind tomorrow. All the best. And thanks again for your kind comments.

    • Sergio Felix June 11, 2014 at 7:52 pm #

      Not a problem brother, comment all that you want! ;-)

      PS. This blog has a zero tolerance for spam so you’re good!

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